The bulk of my energy these days is still taken up by the needs of my Eldest.  We are no longer in full crisis mode, but each day is still a challenge. 

I have not really had any time to work on me other than the things I try to squeeze into my workday.  For the most part that means doing affirmations and (more recently) wishing people I talk to in the course of my telemarketing duties a “blessed day.”  Most of the time I feel like it is little more than a waste of what little energy I can muster each morning just to drag myself to the “office” and work hard at a job I hate.

Hubby is trying his hand at writing.  Recently an entity dubbed by us as the “idea fairy” dropped a full fledged idea for a novel into his head and at my encouragement he is actually running with it.  Just in case I was feeling left out she visited me at work and helped me gel an idea for a Wiccan text that I’ve been toying with for about 4 years. 

Now if she would only help me figure out how to find the time to get it done.

More soon

Kelly

Not much to tell. 

My eldest daughter seems to be doing better than she was.  Things are by no means “back to normal” and I am still in high anxiety mode.  But, I am hopeful that things can get better from here on out.

WomonGathering draws ever closer.  My blogging compatriot and bestest friend Lady Rose recently posted a partial schedule of the even over at our main site, 2 Witches Blog.  I am very excited about this event as I am hoping to use it to jumpstart my own spiritual rebirth and to recharge my soul.  There are many classes that call to me but I intend to wait on choosing anything in particular, as there is still plenty of time left to do that.

I ordered a couple of books from Amazon.com, using credits earned from our blog reader’s purchases.  After I read them I will be passing them on to Lady Rose to “borrow” and they will become the first purchases for the 2Witches official library.

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

Book Description
The highly anticipated follow-up to the 2,000,000 copy bestselling inspirational book, The Power of Now

With his bestselling spiritual guide The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle inspired millions of readers to discover the freedom and joy of a life lived “in the now.” In A New Earth, Tolle expands on these powerful ideas to show how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world. Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates the dysfunction that leads to anger, jealousy, and unhappiness, and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence.

The Power of Now was a question-and-answer handbook. A New Earth has been written as a traditional narrative, offering anecdotes and philosophies in a way that is accessible to all. Illuminating, enlightening, and uplifting, A New Earth is a profoundly spiritual manifesto for a better way of life—and for building a better world

The Secret

From Publishers Weekly
Supporters will hail this New Age self-help book on the law of attraction as a groundbreaking and life-changing work, finding validation in its thesis that one’s positive thoughts are powerful magnets that attract wealth, health, happiness… and did we mention wealth?

Why these books?

Mainly, I’ll admit, because of the hype. They are both popping up everywhere for me and since part of my goal for myself (for 2008 and beyond) is to change my attitude, my thinking, my perception of my life and my world it seemed fitting to purchase books that aim to help me do just that.

Do I expect to agree with everything in their pages?  Of course not.  I may be a Witch but I am a skeptic.  Lady Rose and I often joke about carrying a large salt shaker strapped to our backs in order to have a handy grain of salt to take things with.

Do I hope to find ideas that get me thinking? Yes

Do I hope to find motivation to get myself back on track with my goals?  Yes

So we will see.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Today was a family day.  Circumstances required that I take the day off and my eldest was out of school as well so she enjoyed a home-cooked meal for lunch - a rarity on any weekday.  She ate some of the Ham and Pea studded Macaroni and Cheese that Lady Rose brought up on Saturday and chased that down with a bowl of fresh berries (blackberries and strawberries) that had been tossed with a light sprinkle of Splenda.

After Princess Nibbles came home we did a little video game sorting and traded in a plastic grocery bag full of games and came home with 4 new titles (for just a little bit extra).  The girls’ new games come out of “The Bank of Mommy” (funded by chores and report cards and secured by the Official Parental Trustworthiness Institute) and GamerDude’s new game was earned by the task of doing approximately 20 loads of laundry over the past few days.

Dinner tonight is a bit celebratory in nature and as per my eldest’s request we are having Chinese food.  I ordered way too much food, as I generally am wont to do, but it will carry us through the next couple of days if for lunches if nothing else.  Dumplings, Ribs, Fried Rice, and an assortment of entrees will fit the bill nicely and we are eating early so that after dinner we will have time to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks this evening before “lights out” at 9pm.

Tomorrow will find me only working 8-3 (more overtime lost, sigh!) as hubby and I have a meeting at the eldest’s Middle School getting some stuff squared away in order for us to finish out the school year on a more positive note.

Thank you to everyone for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming! We are in a honeymoon phase right now and we are smart enough to know that it won’t last long.

Brightest Blessings

Mama Kelly

I have managed to continue working 7 days a week though the week ending today will see me working closer to 46 hours than the 53 or so I’ve been averaging of late.

I have managed to take every piece of clothing out of the girls’ closet, out of their armoire, and out of every last drawer.  Every piece of clothing that has been outgrown has been put into a large black lawn and leaf bag for donation.  Every piece of clothing that was not obviously still clean has been put on a mountain of laundry in our upstairs hallway.  Slowly we are making our way through reorganizing the entire room.

My goal is to have the clothing all put away and organized, and the carpet stain treated and vaccuumed by Tuesday night.

The next thing to attack is the desk (and drawers), the TV armoire (and drawers), toy boxes, and bookshelves.  But, one thing at a time.

I have managed to complete my 2007 taxes, all that’s left is to hook up a printer and print and file.

I have managed to lose enough weight to drop me down into the 180s instead of the 190s.  This has not been by intent or design, but instead a responce to a bowel issue from last week and the stress of this week.

This upcoming week will again find my overtime hours cut short.  But as I am getting money back from the federal government I am much less panicky about it.  Especially knowing that we’re getting the stimulus money as well.

Things have been crazy since my last post.  A family crisis has required all of my free time and attention.  I am hoping and praying that this time next week will find us all doing much better and I can try to take some time to recharge my physical and spiritual batteries.

My prayer is for my daughter to find her way
My prayer is for me to find within myself, again, hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I ’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Mama Kelly

The bulk of my free time this month has been eaten up by working on my 2007 taxes, as well as gathering papers for previous years that I need to take to an accountant.  Unfortunately that has been only hit & miss due to my 7 day a week work schedule and a pain flare up.

I have chronic abdominal and pelvic pain, in part due to having endometriosis and bowel adhesions, but also (probably) as a result of my having Neurofibromatosis.

What I have done is resume pulling affirmation cards at work and compiled a new 101 in 1001 list.  I plan to post that here once my taxes are e-filed.

Other than that ….

I keep putting one foot in front of the other

I keep trying to focus on my blessings

I keep hoping for that brighter tomorrow

Kelly

Here it is April 1, 2008, the year is officially one quarter passed and I have accomplished little in terms of “transforming my life.”  Since my choices are to keep plodding along, merely existing or grabbing hold of the reins of my life and trying again to live differently I think I will choose the later.

My first order of business will be to revise my 101 in 1001 list. If I start today, it ends on Miss Angst’s 16th birthday (Princess Nibbles will be 11).  I, my friends and readers, will be 41.

I realized that one of the reasons I stopped blogging here was that I had nothing positive to say.  This blog is to be my own exploration, my own journey, and the path is not always going to be smooth and pleasant.  This blog will resume its use of highlighting the activities in my day, my hopes, my fears, etc and we will see together where it takes us.

I haven’t posted here in a while, mainly because any progress I had made since the New Year stagnated or backslid completely.  With the recent passing of the Spring Equinox I feel myself called to once again start anew.  I recently read on Hawk’s Cry blog words which have stayed in my mind much the past days:

Unfortunately, most people fail this test. They refuse to face their fears and doubts. They give in to the temptation to escape, either through drugs, alcohol or any other addiction. As a result, they do not grow from the experience. They whither and stagnate instead, focusing their energy on keeping the darkness away instead of fighting it with their light. They will continue to waste their energy on hiding from the darkness until either they decide to change and face it, or they die. Some people sadly hide from the darkness their whole life. (emphasis mine)

I can tell you that these words were exactly what I needed to read.  What I needed to hear.  I have a little less than 3 months before Lady Rose and I scurry off to Womongathering and I desperately need to get my life and my spirit in a better place before then.

With my 39th birthday approaching, 40 is looming on the horizon and it is time for me to take charge of myself and my life and create the future than I desire.

In the words of another its time to take my own inner light and “let it shine”

I found this over on one of my favorite blog’s SkyWindows.  It is a brief lecture given by Dr. Randy Pausch who is dying of pancreatic cancer (he was diagnosed in Sept of 2006) …. the disease which killed my mother 10 years ago. Aside from that fact causing his situation to hit me a little close to home, this lecture touched me in many other ways as well and by the end I had tears streaming down my face.

He is leaving behind his wife and his three children and is determined to enjoy every day he is graced with until the end.  He is uplifting and funny and inspirational.

Trust me … Just watch it.

according to Dr. Paush’s website …..

you can watch the full lecture online, here. A closed captioned version is available here (thanks to Hong Guo), and a version with subtitles is here (thanks to Friederike Brand)

there will be a book based on this lecture … www.TheLastLecture.com

also apparently is a long time Trek fan and has one line in the newest Star Trek movie to be released in 2009 ….

Blessings

Kelly

You can’t always get what you want
but you might just find
you get what you need.

Kelly

:: cross-posted on Goddess Blessings ::

Much of my free time of late has been spent tweaking the appearance and function of my main site, 2 Witches Blog (which I co-author with my best friend Lady Rose (author of Diet Pulpit)).  I really think it is starting to come together and have a more professional feel. 

I have also been working on category organization and tagging and have managed through some combination of skill, luck, and planetary alignment been able to not only boost our daily traffic back to the levels that it hit before we were forced to move our blog to this domain in 3/2007 but to exceed them.  “Yesterday” (the 24 hour period which ended at 8pm EST on 2/27/0 was our best day ever (over 1400 hits - yea us!) and I have to admit that I am excited.

Additionally I have created a few new “billboards” to enhance many of the regular features at that blog and truly believe that we are slowly becomming the site that we wished for back when we began this blogging addiction over 2 years ago.

Not much else to say in terms of life, liberty and the persuit of my all too small paycheck other than I am still surviving in spite of not having a day off since 12/30/07.

Lets hope my stamina (or insanity) holds out

Kelly